And the LORD BARROSO said unto DYSON, “Because thou hast used energy to make a vacuum cleaner, and cleaned thy neighbour’s house, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go…

… and DUST shalt thou eat all the days of thy life.

(Adapted from the King James Bible, Genesis 3:14)

As recession threatens again, and as our sun’s neo-Dickensian weakness starts cooling the world to a progress-challenging chill, the EU makes a law banning the best vacuum cleaners.


Despite the benefits of technology and business, a bloated army of tax-fed, business-phobic Euro heat-preachers want to punish their people’s enterprise — on the dotty premise that carbon dioxide, which is released by energy production, is heating the world to a sweaty doom (the planet is now cooling, due to the weakening sun, and CO2 has no effect at all, anyway).

But Eurocrats live on taxes, not profits.

They want to safeguard their shoddy, economically unsustainable rule for as long as possible, by keeping their people in the dark — and, increasingly, the cold; until Agenda 21, the UN’s de-industrialisation project, gains more traction.

Luckily, they reckoned without the web, whose platform for unfiltered news may yet inspire an EU break-up — and, at the very least, a British exit.

Try as the EU might to make Google “forget”, the net remains the voice of freedom — now more than ever: an organic echo chamber, in which the maddest excesses of corrupt government get the ridicule they deserve, as technology extends the 10 minute timescale of the coffee table chat all around the globe…

… and takes people power with it.


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